Juliet
by MissMaryMason
Summary: I'm not making the title into a pun okay? I'm not doing it. [kyman drabble]


It is quite possibly the coldest night of the year and Cartman is standing outside Kyle's house throwing pebbles at his window, flinching at every 'click-clack' the pebbles make and freezing his dick off, because he is a fucking _gentleman._

However, if Kyle doesn't wake up soon, Cartman might very well do some pretty un-gentleman like things, such as impale Kyle with one of the icicles hanging off of his house. Luckily, the window opens and Kyle is peering out, a look of absolute hatred adorning his face.

"What the fuck are you doing, Cartman?" he hisses from above. Cartman takes this as his cue and begins reciting.

"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the sun!" he manages to keep his cool despite having broken into a fit of giggles at the pun every other time he rehearsed this in his mirror at home, which he counts as a personal achievement. "Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief—"

"Fuck off, Cartman!" Kyle interrupts, and Cartman freezes, because Kyle wasn't supposed to speak yet, and now he's got to skip a bunch of lines and he really wasn't prepared for this.

"Uh, no, wait!" he shouts as he sees Kyle reach for the latch on his window, preparing to lock it and thus lock Cartman out before he gets through his speech. "By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: My name—"

"Will you fucking stop reciting poetry outside at one in the morning and just," he stops and rubs at his temples. "just fucking come inside and tell me what you want."

Cartman can feel himself break into a wide smile but he can't stop himself, so he just looks down at the ground quickly and walks around to the front door and waits for Kyle to let him inside. The door opens and Kyle is there, dressed in a worn out Terrance and Phillip shirt he's pretty sure actually belongs to Stan and a pair of flannel pajama pants that are baggy enough that no one would realize he actually has toothpicks for legs. It makes his heart beat painfully as he remembers that just a few weeks ago he had woken up to see Kyle curled up beside him in bed wearing only the shirt Cartman had on the night before.

He follows him into the kitchen where Kyle sets about making a pot of coffee, and he realizes that he's supposed to be the one to speak now. "It's cold as fuck outside." He decides is sufficient. Kyle doesn't respond to that, just hums in agreement as he sits across from him at the table. Cartman had missed seeing those hazel eyes fixed on him, had missed being the center of their attention, but now he just wants to get away from them. He feels like an ant being studied under a magnifying glass, the heat of the sun slowly making him sizzle until there will be nothing left of him.

"I'm a prick, I know." He says finally. Kyle rolls his eyes but otherwise waits quietly for Cartman to go on. "I fucked up, again. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

Cartman hates apologizing with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns, but dammit, he hates being without Kyle more. Kyle is his foil, no one gets him going, no one makes him _feel_ the way Kyle does.

"You're not really sorry." Kyle finally decides to reply and it's like being stabbed with a rusty spoon. How is Cartman not sorry? Why would he be here, practically groveling on his knees, if he wasn't sorry? "You're just upset that I don't want to play your stupid games anymore."

That's all Kyle ever thought it was; a game. Everything was a game to Cartman and he would step on anyone he had to in order to win it. It is a childish way to be, but maybe Cartman himself is a little childish. He's reminded of the words Kyle said to him the night he left.

_"You win! You fucking win, again! Are you happy, now?"_

The truth is no. No, he is not happy, because winning a stupid debate or getting the last laugh is great and honestly, he thrives on it, but it means nothing to him if Kyle isn't there to bask in his awesomeness. Everything is just better when Kyle is there because Kyle makes him better.

"No, no. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, and I don't know how else to say it to make you understand. I'm not asking you to take me back," except that that is exactly what he's doing, "I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you, I just get so caught up in myself I forget to think about you and how you're feeling."

"That's because you're a selfish pig." Kyle stands to pour himself a cup of coffee and Cartman follows him over to the cabinet.

"You're right! You are totally right, Kyle. I am a selfish pig and I do not deserve you. However, if you'll forgive me, I promise to make it up to you." Cartman says, grabbing Kyle's hands and placing them on his chest. Kyle looks unimpressed, as if they have gone through this same song and dance before and it will probably happen again and he is already sick of it. He pulls his hands away and punches Cartman in the shoulder.

"For future reference, I hate Shakespeare."

"Psh, what the fuck ever, no one hates Shakespeare."

**A.N.: I know this is really horrifically short and really bad too but I haven't posted anything in fifty thousand years so here, have a thing. I wrote this while listening to 'Juliet' by Emilie Autumn so maybe give that a listen? xx**


End file.
